Not so secret me?

You ask how I am and i'll say i'm ok
Tell what's going on and be on my way
Keep all the emotion deep inside
None of you know how hard i've cried
When i'm alone it's all in my head
Curl up and hide away in my bed
I have so much yet still i'm down
The corner of your eye you'll see me frown
Every week great times with my friends
But its just me when the evening ends
I have so much to give my heart could burst
I hardly ever put myself first
The confidence and strength is just a shell
Though most of you would never tell
So here I sit with tears on my face
Stop sit and stare into space
If I show you this side of me
Would you stay or flee?
Be surprised at what's under my skin?
Stay outside or want in?
Finding out would be the true test
Put myself out there and hope for the best
It's just not a risk i'm willing to take
The wall around me too hard to break
Need someone to make me steady
Have had so much hurt already
How can I let someone in
When I don't even know how to begin?