messy head (a ramble)

family illnesses, the distance away, relationships (or lack thereof), friends, friends moving, new friends, good times, bad news, waking up alone, stupid sore throat and sniffle, feeling down, indecision, change, bury my head and ignore it all! and that's just the half of it........

staying busy

whenever I feel happy
and start something new
allow myself to forget
what's happening to you
lose myself in the good
ignore the bad
pretend its ok
that i'm not sad
if i stop
time to think
too much guilt
i might sink
too much emotion
battling inside
keeping myself busy
so i can hide
should i tell you all this
that goes in my head
would it help you to know
what i have said
too hard to share
these things with you
don't want you to know
my point of view
so i stay busy
and keep on the run
perfecting the lie
my life in the sun

Poem/lyrics

I wrote this as a poem, but a side track while writing felt like a chorus, not that I would be capable of putting music to it! It has no title.

When we met that night

I had no defenses

Took leave of my senses

and just went with the flow

It was though I knew you

Known you forever

No need to be clever

Just be myself, be me

Hooked by your kisses

Made my knees weak

Too breathless to speak

I wanted more

I fell for you more than I should

More than I meant to anyway

My heart wouldn't listen

To what my head had to say

I want you to kiss me

You don't say that you miss me

still

You can have your way

My heart just won't listen 

To what my head has to say.

Something I wrote a long time ago

A Moment in Time

So when he looked my way I completely forgot what I was doing, what I was saying, if I was saying anything at all. Has that ever happened to you? Someone who seems to look into you, all the way deep inside, and you don't mind. In return you see into them, like an open book, as if you've known them forever, not just a moment in time.
Do you believe something like this can happen to you?
Do you just get on with your life because something like that could never happen to you?
After all that girl he's with must be a girlfriend, with my luck more likely his wife! If you asked her why she suddenly had a tighter grip on his arm she wouldn't be able to explain, but subconsciously she felt it, felt that connection you just made, the slight shift in her expression giving her away.
So what to do?
How do you approach a stranger you know you have to meet, to touch, to know? Was it really a two way thing or am I just kidding myself? Is he thinking the same?
I looked back across the room........
He's nowhere to be seen.
Slight panic sets in that the moment has passed, a moment not seized, a perfect moment that may never happen again, the moment escaped me.
Then I exhale, the world comes back into focus with a rush, reality sweeps away the fantasy of what might have been. I convince myself if it was meant to be we will meet again, and move on.

So... can I get stuff out of my head?

I sometimes have creative spurts of writing, and until now, nobody has ever seen what pops out of my brain. I have conquered my fear of singing in front of people, and I figure the next step is to allow people to read what I write. Problem is I usually get these creative urges late at night when I'm half asleep, or walking, or some other time when I can't get it down and can never remember it later! So we will see what happens now I've created this blog.............